All Caps

TYPING IN ALL CAPS IS ANNOYING, AGGRAVATING, IMPOLITE AND SIMPLE MINDED ISN’T IT? Then why is it that bahjillions of emailers, facebookers and twitterers find it so hard to release that ever elusive caps button? Its right there at the left pinky, I mean c’mon…

Capital letters are sometimes used for typographical emphasis in text, but there is a distinct difference between emphasis and yelling at the top of your lungs (which is what a letter or post in all caps implies). I usually give people the benefit of doubt initially, assuming that the caps lock is stuck or broken. After that,  my imagination kicks in….

*Breaking news*  Caveman discovers facebook, twitter and myspace:

Wilma: Rock Eater, you’re so funny. come over to my cave

Rock Eater: YOU SMELL GOOD ME COME TO CAVE

a few millennia later, caveman gets hired as terminal manager for ACME Concrete Company….

Me:   Hey, can I get the spreadsheet by the end of the day please?

Terminal Manager:  NO PROBLEM I’LL SEND IT TO YOU AS SOON AS I CAN ALONG WITH THE OTHER REPORT YOU NEED MAN I BEEN REAL BUSY SO I’M GOING AS FAST AS I CAN.

Are you kidding me?! Where is the professionalism, the higher learning? This makes my head hurt looking at this all day! You don’t give a monkey fine china to eat with, he’s gonna break it then shit on it. Neither should a person be given a keyboard without SOME modicum of typing abilities.

Today, I’m resigned to start a movement. Much like breast cancer awareness and those bumper stickers reminding women to “feel your ta ta’s” (so cool by the way), We need stickers reminding our “10 words a minute” keyboard punchers to unlock the caps button.

How about, “Caps belong on your head, NOT ON EVERY GOD@$%#M LETTER IN A SENTENCE.”

Too much?