By now, if you don’t know what an iPhone is or know someone who has one, you my friend have just woken up from your cryogenic sleep chamber and those bell bottoms are not…well, actually they’re in style again in certain circles, but anyway where was I? Ah yes…the iPhone 4s.
The iPhone’s are getting less expensive and you want one. Your Droid has more memory and has better apps but it’s cheap and keeps breaking doesn’t it? Not to mention it’s hacker-bait. In this regard the iPhone is all that and a buffet. There’s a reason why they are over saturating the market with Android software on every conceivable platform. They have to sell as much as they can before Apple software wakes up,becomes sentient and becomes Skynet bringing about the end of mankind as we know it.
“Siri” is the 1st step in that evolution. Apple’s new voice command software. It’s scary good. Push a button, tell it to do something, and it does JUST that. Take a memo? done (bye bye admin secretary) . Voice text? done. The DMV should be happy about that. This thing does everything by voice command short of frying you an omelet. Did I mention it can call someone to cook the omelet and have it delivered to your door?
Do you guys remember the Dragon speech software? Yeah, well, it’s garbage compared to Siri. At happy hour networking? No problem. Siri pretty much understands drunken slurs and Klingon. Think of it has having your own pocket version of Lt. Uhura.
Now, before you go “You’re just biased because you’re an Apple product lover. Let me say this: If you have an iPhone 4, you probably want to sit this one out and wait for the 5. That’s right….wait. You’re gonna get the software upgrade free anyway. Yes the 4s does come with a shiny new dual core processor, but they didn’t upgrade the RAM so really….what’s the point? There ain’t enough bells and whistles to merit upgrading from the 4 to the 4s.
To you noobs without a iPhone at all, hurry they’re selling like hotcakes. And if you know someone who is computer illiterate don’t buy them an iPhone as a present. Anytime I see someone with an iPhone and it’s memory its 98% empty because they don’t know how to sync music, movies tv shows, podcasts, radio stations etc etc…I want to slap it out of their hands and crush it on the floor.
Resistance is futile. Hey Droid fanatics…kiss my Apple.
Happy Father’s Day to all the daddy’s of the world. I’d like to start by saying my father is legend to me. The absolute best compliment I’ve ever gotten is when someone says “you act/look like your father”. my father epitomizes a gentle heart and strengthened resolve. I can only hope to match that. My unyielding thirst for knowledge was passed down through him.
Some of you weren’t so lucky. Manhood is a tough thing. There are standards, boundaries, rules that apply. A lot of you missed them for whatever reason….here are the cliff notes.
- Respect is a reciprocal thing. In order to get it, it must be given. Only good things can happen within these boundaries. Step out of the circle of respect and chaos is sure to erupt in some form or fashion.
- No one is going to take care of you past a certain age. Everything your parents have been telling you thus far was to prep you for a solo run at life. I know you’ve seen the failures…you don’t want to go that route. 30 years old at home with momma? fail. Stop asking for handouts, their nest egg isn’t yours. The retirement money doesn’t belong to you, junior.
- Travel. Out of the state. Out of the country. It’ll broaden your small minded view on life all while learning cultures you never knew existed except for on tv. If you thought your prom queen was the hottest thing since old episodes of Baywatch, you’re an idiot. Women vary by region, state, and country with different mindsets than your high school sweetheart “Peggy Sue”. If you are still single, relocate. you’ll be mildly surprised at the difference in the attitudes of women of other area codes.
- Invest. Remember “he who has the most toys wins”? Well, those toys cost. A lot. Mutual funds, CD’s, Stocks (get a financial planner early kid).
- Your Word. If it comes out of your mouth, then DO IT. Mean it and never go back on it. People will respect you on your word alone in some cases. Don’t be a lying little weasel that deserves to be kicked in the balls. Hmm…maybe I could start a trend, kick all liars in the ball sack. Wait no, we’d have to castrate ALL politicians and government officials…I digress, where was i?
- Babies. This is a no brainer. Keep your dick in your pants or use a condom if you aren’t ready to be a daddy. How do you know you aren’t ready to be a daddy you ask? If you can’t support yourself. meaning: If you can’t provide your OWN shelter, food or clothing, what makes you think you can care for an infant whose solely dependent upon you for continuing to live? Babies require sacrifice of your livelihood. Sending the baby to grandma for days on end is shirking YOUR responsibility scum bag.
- Never raise your hand to a woman. If you lucked up and got an psycho aggressive bi-polar crazy chick, therapy IS NOT going to help. Run away from that relationship like someone just fired a starter pistol. If you just like hitting women because it makes you feel strong, come see me. I’ll message you my address and we can determine just how strong you are…prick.
- Public drunkenness is not cool. You look like an idiot because you are an idiot. Maintain your dignity. Women like dignity.
- A woman is going to leave you or cheat on you if your sex game isn’t up to par. Oh..she’ll wait it out a bit to see if there’s any improvement, but rest assured, she’ll be on the clock for some quality dizznik. Don’t be one of those guys we laugh at behind your back. Because there’s another thing: she will tell just how bad you are. it’s a damn shame. But it’s true. Yeah, she might not tell the world, but she’s got at least one confidant that knows you ain’t shit. Elevate your game or the only thing you’ll be riding is the bench.
- So…you got yourself together. Career’s going, got nice man toys, got a great lady and baby makes three. congratulations, it ain’t over. The knowledge, the hard work, the perseverance now need to be poured into your child. If you allow someone else to teach your child about life, you tripped up right at the finish line. If your child is a failure it’s because YOU failed that child. no one else. Prepare your son or daughter to sidestep all of the hardships and struggles that you went through. make it easier for them. After all, they are your legacy. Teach them everything, but place a timeline on that gift of knowledge. Too many times have I seen parents rearing their preteen kids for some adult type circumstance while the kid is more interested in his/her robots or dolls. Puberty, adolescence, adulthood have their place and are fundamental for a child’s psyche. don’t ruin that.
If you were lucky enough to have been blessed with a father to teach you some of these things, then by all means call him up today and say thank you for making me a better individual. But the truth is, he’s knows it already and is extremely proud of your accomplishments thus far.
Here we are.
There is war, hate and distrust EVERYWHERE. WTF happened? Why is there so much damn unrest and violence in the middle east? I guess if I want to understand it, I’ll have to go back. Waaaaaaay back….
Flashback to the Crusades for a moment. The Crusades were a series of religiously sanctioned military campaigns, waged by much of the Roman Catholic church, particularly the Franks of France (wow, the French have been dicks longer than I thought) and the Roman Empire. The crusades to restore Christian control of the Holy Land were fought over a period of nearly 200 years, between 1095 and 1291. Hundreds of thousands of people were killed. Stop drinking the kool-aid for a second and ask yourself this: If your church said “hey, we have beef with 1st Baptist on Main street. we’re gonna go over there and show them who’s the better church”. Could you resort to that kind of violence?
Question. Would you kill for your religion? Would you vow to physically wipe out all other religions? could you get your hands dirty, and wring someone not of your faith’s neck? Because that’s essentially what happened during the Crusades when Christians decided that, “hey you know what, we want Jerusalem back”. (secretly, they still do.) I didn’t realize the Catholics were so aggressive like that.
I wish someone could give me a definitive answer as to why Christians and Muslims have been at war since the dawn of man. (and please don’t comment with any racist bullshit either , I don’t wanna hear it). It doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. I am by far, NOT a conspiracy theorist but it kinda makes you wonder. The Catholic religion has a government (the vatican). It’s recognized as a country and international law. Look at the bigger picture for a moment….a country that has militarized weaponry.
It’s been said that absolute power, corrupts absolutely. Here’s probably why that phrase was coined.
The Catholic church was getting it’s freak on. Sixtus IV was the first Pope to impose a license on brothels and a special tax on priests who kept a mistress (the IRS should probably look into this). Pope Alexander VI was….how can I put this lightly? A Ho. He had seven children by at least two mistresses. Fourteen years after his death, the corruption of the papacy that Pope Alexander VI exemplified – particularly the sale of hookers – prompted Martin Luther (no, not the black one) the Protestant leader of that era, to launch the Protestant Reformation. Around that timeframe, we got a bible makeover. the King James version.
Nope. I’m not making any of this up. Please. Google it. THE CATHOLIC CHURCH SANCTIONED PROSTITUTION.
Wow…I’m getting off track, this started off as one thing and has evolved into something for another time. Where was I? Oh yeah, corruption.
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” Sound familiar? If not, you failed history miserably and you need to bone up on the US Constitution. What’s funny about this, is that politicians have started ingratiating religion back into politics and as a country of diversity, how can you inject your personal beliefs into laws meant to govern that melting pot of ethnicity? You can’t. Unless you have an agenda.
What’s the one thing that all countries have? That crosses borders, race, social,economic, political status? Religion. what better way to unite the world under one roof. It also brings about a form of control…all under one roof. Let’s recap: religion = control. Control the individual, control the country.
Fast forward to the present:
Egypt, Bahrain, and now Libya all of a sudden erupt into hotbed of chaos. Why now? Is no one looking behind the scenes on this. Are we REALLY going to fall for the “smoke and mirror” fascist dictator trick again? Those people have lived that way for CENTURIES. and now “Hey you know what? I want a democracy”. riiiiight.
Once there is a democracy in the Middle East the world will end as we know it. Call it checkmate.
the Crusades have a new name. The New World Order
Round and round we go.
I had a bit of an epiphany in the gym this morning. It dawned on me that most people go their entire lives without realizing what their very own bodies are physically capable of. It’s funny to me. Mainly because in my youth, I was literally thin as a walking stick. Had it not been for that fateful day in Chicago at the Naval base, where I (a basketball fanatic) was dunked on by a semi pro player.
That pivotal moment changed me. Angered and blinded by the fact that someone broke through my defense, I subbed out and left the court…right into the weight room. while the 1st two years were a clueless waste of time, the next 13 years became a crusade to become bigger and stronger. Years of muscle sprains, tendonitis, deep tissue massages, and gallons of protein later, here I am remaining steadfast on my personal crusade to be the fittest I can be.
But not most people….the average person doesn’t think about it until a fit person walks up next to them. Then there’s a moment of self-pity that’s quickly forgotten as soon as the “hot and fresh doughnuts” sign lights up at Krispy Kreme.
The human body can do sooo much! It’s astounding the amount of resiliency and strength it has. It can be shaped and molded, made stronger, faster. It can endure miles and miles of running. Each and every person has their very own machine to tweak and customize as they see fit. But 89% of you don’t. It’s the equivalent of taking a Ferrari and letting it sit for years exposed to the elements.
I’m curious. What’s it like? You know, getting old AND weak/feeble. I’ve got the old part down pretty well. The weak and feeble part, mmmm… not so much. If I had to guess, I’d say it’d be like the aging male lion succumbing to a younger stronger male lion over rights to the pride/pack. It’s a safe bet that there will be no young studs taking over my pack ANYTIME soon. God willing, working out will be a staple in my life, as much as breakfast and sex. (and I’m not trying to give that up anytime soon either)
Extend your life/livelihood. Take care of your body as you would your car, house, your lawn….whatever you deem of value and importance to you.
Train hard. Indulge later.
2010 is over. Thank God. It’s been a rollercoaster ride from hell, from natural disasters to the ongoing ever present recession, things have not been nice (putting it mildly). Nevertheless tonight, err….tomorrow begins a new year, new beginnings, new chances, new opportunities and for a lot a people, new resolutions.
I can tell my age is catching up to me. Because this year, my resolution is so far removed from the norm, it signifies the next step in my learning process. my own personal maturation in life. Or to repeat what my wife says “my Buddhist Monk” like ways.
As much as our President has touted change, I fear there will be none. At least not in our lifetime or not in the manner in which we expect. And that got me to thinking….why? Really, why can’t we change? As a whole, once we reach adulthood most people are set in their ways like super glued concrete shoes, only changing when traumatic events unfold.
Children are full of creativity and ideas that are unrestricted by boundaries and prejudices. Children can provide the change we need to TRULY make this world a better place. It starts at home, in your neighborhoods, in your cities. Stop dashing your child’s dreams. Give them positive reinforcement all of the time. Support their goals. Teach them. They are apt to learn life quicker from you than from a stranger in the form of public schooling.
My New Year’s resolution? To inspire all youth. Whenever and wherever I can.
Think for a second if we all did that, what would begin to transpire. So instead of trying to lose 10lbs off your fat ass in a gym program that you won’t stick with, why not volunteer at a local Boy’s and Girl’s club? Or start a tutoring program? There’s also Big Brothers/Sisters programs.
I can’t be the only person who can see that as a whole, adults have failed miserably. It’s time to hit the reset button and give our children a chance to right our wrongs.
What’s YOUR New Year’s Resolution?