wisdom. testosterone. and a little bit of bs

crime

Clash of the Titans 3D


I am not a movie critic. Nor do I express the desire to become one in the near future. But when filmmakers of the remake start to pull an R. Kelly on it’s audiences SOMETHING has to be said.

I don’t even know where to start first. Oh, wait…yes I do. WHERE IS THE 3D?!? Did I really just spend extra money on a feature that enticed me in the first place, only to see a handful of scenes ACTUALLY in 3D? At some point in the movie I snatched the stupid glasses off and watched normally. It’s gotta be a new plot to make people sit and look like asses with ineffective horned rimmed glasses on. Some producer is laughing his ass off as everyone becomes honorary members of the Geek Squad.

After realizing I’d been R Kelly’d (if you really have to ask, you should probably go lie down, its past your bedtime), I noticed something else: This movie is the “cliff notes” of the original in 1981. You know how you fast forward x 4 shows on your DVR? That’s precisely how it felt watching this movie.

To the average movie goer, It’s an dumb plot, slightly action packed CGfest. For me I felt duped, let down, my intelligence insulted, in other words, pissed on by the director of this film. I’ll have you know they actually made shit up totally incongruent with mythology.  Any fan or student of Greek mythology will let you know right away that Medusa IS NOT a Titan. She’s of the Gorgon familial. What? I wasn’t a muscle head all my life, I kept my head in books. Greek Mythology was one of them.

One more thing: In the beginning of this movie they narrate to you the relationship between the Titans and the Olympic gods. The Titans are the fathers of Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades. They even tell you that Hades created the Kraken in order to defeat the Titans. If someone can point out to me a Titan clashing against anyone in this movie, I’ll pay you cash.

If my memory serves me correctly I can name a few Titans. Kronos, Hyperion, and Rhea. They are a few of the popular ones not in this movie. This movie was essentially about Zeus vs Hades with a frigging lightsaber thrown in for good measure (no I’m not making that last part up).

I wish I had two extra hands so I could give this movie 4 thumbs down.

To Regal Cinemas, YOU FAIL SO HARD ITS INEXPLICABLE!  UPGRADE YOUR STADIUM SEATS AND HIRE PROFESSIONAL CLEANERS!  Movie theaters aren’t supposed to smell like nursing homes. And anyone 6’ft and above has no leg room.

~finis


Lock and Load


Let me get straight to it. I was robbed. My car was vandalized and some pretty nice audio and video equipment was stolen. No biggie, This is why we pay gobs of money to our insurance companies.

What I AM having, is a hard time accepting the fact that with all my size strength and intelligence, there was absolutely nothing I could have done to stop it. I cannot shake it off. As a protector and defender of my family, I feel like I was caught slipping.

I’ve been talking to and reading about victims of theft and burglary, and how they feel violated and helpless. Yep, that’s sounds about right. What’s worse, this feeling of paranoia has me extremely protective of my family. More so than normal. If I was a scary bear before, I am certainly not to be poked or prodded now.

My family as a group will be obtaining concealed weapon permits and enrolling in a firearms class (not that I need it),but since we’ve become a Glock carrying family, it stands to reason that a family that shoots together….

Overkill? Hell no. Turn your television on. Go to any news channel, and realize that your time is coming soon. It’s just a matter of time before you become a statistic. Doesn’t matter who you are or where you live, the country’s crime rate has increased exponentially over the last few years.

Even if you consider yourself safe from theft, what’s your perverted neighbor across from you REALLY thinking of you? And to you guys trying to put another notch in your players card, two words for you: Steve McNair (RIP). Is it me, or does it seem that everyone in the world has lost their damned minds.

I won’t even bring up the recession. That alone is driving the indigent to extremes never before seen. Like breaking into my car parked at a four star hotel on friggin THANKSGIVING…

All of my close friends will tell you I’m not and never will be a gun advocate. Personally, I prefer the up close and personal hands on beat down.

But extreme times call for extreme measures. I’ll be waiting, locked and loaded.

To quote the comedian, Cedric the entertainer…”I WISH a motherf%#ker would…”


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