Who decided what foods to call breakfast? I need to have a talk with him, and by talk I mean clubbing him over the head with a sock full of frozen sausage patties. Everyone at the US Department of Agriculture (USDA) should be force fed MRE’s for not updating an antiquated food pyramid since the great depression. Why wouldn’t they…..oh wait. Lobbyists. If I’m slinging corn and wheat like a meth dealer, what better way is there than to get the government to declare it’s healthy and you must eat it. All while getting subsidies to grow more. It’s a win win.
America is BEYOND being the fattest country. There is a myriad of reasons for that, however for brevity I’m going to focus only on one. Our diet. We eat for luxury. we eat for boredom. we eat for fun. we eat to soothe depression. we eat for celebration. Why in God’s name do we eat past 7-8 o’clock pm I’ll never know. Wait, yes I do. Marketing. You’ve seen food commercials in HD. Your pupils dilate, your brain releases endorphins, and you just gotta have it. I get it. Eating for sustenance hasn’t been cool since the Great Depression, but gorging yourself late night watching a Netflix marathon is a surefire way to cardiac arrest.
You know what the average breakfast at Denny’s or an IHOP is? Stacks of pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, AND hash browns with toast. I can feel my glucose levels rising just talking about it. All carbs and fat is not an ideal way to break your fast. WHERE IS THE DAMN PROTEIN? In the eggs? Sure, if I wanted the figure of a prepubescent boy. It’s too miniscule an amount for any athletic person. No one wants to eat 6-8 eggs every day, although it wouldn’t be a first for me. Bacon? Sausage? Let me be clear…I’ve eaten a whole pack of bacon and it was delicious and oh so satisfying and I wasn’t ashamed in the slightest, but I’m not trying to stroke out from high blood pressure either. Not gonna lie…I might Ka-Bar you (stab you with a very large fighting knife) over a plate of bacon. I will NEVER become muslim. Give up pork? Hell Naw!
Shit..let me focus, I’m starting to smell bacon and no one’s cooking.
And stop subscribing to nonsense. I’m looking at you Facebook denizens. Chicken, fish and beef are FINE to eat in the morning. Protein = Amino Acids = Muscle =healthy fat burning metabolism all day long as long as your body is in motion. Ever had chicken and broccoli for breakfast? I have. And I’ve gotten weird looks like I was breaking some secret code or something. Meanwhile some programmed fat kid a table across from me is huffing down flapjacks like they’re discontinued.
Expand your dietary horizons. Eat better. And stop eating after the sun sets. That shit isn’t natural. Unless you’re a bat. But they don’t eat during the day. Does that make the bat smarter that you? Listen to your body. It will tell you what it needs it just takes a little practice.
Stop labeling foods and when to eat them. And quit posting diets on FB as an affirmation to your intent, posting pedometer miles is better. you’re faking the funk and we know it.
Paleo for the win. I like Steve Kamb’s site. http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2010/10/04/the-beginners-guide-to-the-paleo-diet/
Educate yourself on what food actually does to your body and perhaps you’ll be just that closer to achieving whatever goals you’re striving for.
Food has become the new drug of choice, and the percentage of overweight/obese Americans is staggering. Some medical polls have that number as high as 63%…wow. A nation of people hooked on food, like heroin addicts needing a fix.
Does anyone eat for sustenance anymore? I mean c’mon, isn’t food meant to be eaten to survive? Not anymore…if it ain’t smothered covered chopped scattered topped and peppered it ain’t right. Ever see a toddler refuse oatmeal because there isn’t enough sugar and butter in it? We are setting our children up for failure. Who in their right mind gives a baby a crack pipe?
It’s the same addiction.
“No Dennis it’s not the same”, STFU and listen…stop setting your kids up for diabetes and other food borne ailments. Think about this: Some of you might be lactose intolerant. That means that your body has decided its had enough of a substance meant to nourish babies. Do you think there are any lactose intolerant people in Somalia or any Russians with peanut allergens?
Can someone explain to me why the government body known as the FDA hasn’t stepped in to curb this food nonsense. Oh that’s right…money. Marketing and media food gurus entice you like drug dealers. “yeah that burger I made you last time, it’s nothing… nothing…nothing…..compared to this burger. This burger right here, we call it “the whole cow”. You won’t have to eat for weeks.
Bigger, richer, fluffier, greasier, more decadent, more seasoned….mmmm taste all this flavor. And you have the nerve to wonder why you need liposuction. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t be a glut AND look good.
Yet I’m the freak because I’m in my 40′s, workout like it’s my religion and eat healthy. And then there’s the questions: What do you do, how do you do it? My answer: I have the willpower to avoid Dairy Queen’s XXL Blizzard shakes and the fact that ever single day I wake up, I think to myself I can be better. My competitive streak fuels me when my energy runs low. I simply refuse to look like “that guy”.
I think I may have the solution. Put an end to serviced foods and grocery stores. That’s right, no more restaurants or grocery stores. No more convenience.
Kinda lose your appetite when you think of having to hunt and kill your own food huh?
Mmm…venison steaks anyone?